I Remember
by Pretty.Little.Liars
Summary: Forget thine attachments to that which is beloved. ---- DeidaraOC.


**Title:** I Remember  
**Author:** Ugly.Beautiful  
**Genre:** Romance / Angst  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Deidara x OC  
**Spoilers:** None, I think  
**Summary:** Forget thine attachments to that which is beloved.  
**Word Count: **912  
**Warnings:** I'm stupid. This is why I give Dei-chan some love.

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. And I'm pretty sure the summery is a line from _Eragon_ by Christopher Paolini.

* * *

"Senpai! Chotto matte!"

Deidara ground his teeth together in annoyance as his idiot of a teammate ran frantically after him. He heard Tobi yell his name, swiftly followed by a yelp of surprise as he tripped and crashed face-first into the ground. Deidara glanced up at the Heaven's, wondering what he had done to deserve this.

Sure, he desired to prove his artistic talents to the world, to get the upper hand and defeat that bastard Itachi in a fight. But were those things worth this? Sasori had been a good partner. Silent, hunchbacked, and a slightly creepy man with ridiculous notions about art, but a good partner nonetheless. Strong and not the bumbling idiot Tobi was. Now here he was, stuck with someone as dumb as Itachi's Jinchuriki, and about ten times as useless. He left his home for this?

Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't as… lonesome as his other Akatsuki members. Itachi's psychotic family massacre, Sasori's reanimated parents, Kisame's shark-like appearance, Tobi's inability to act like an adult _or_ his ability to show his face all tended to hinder one's relationship status with the opposite gender. But Deidara had neither Hidan's God-fearing, slightly unhinged ideals, not Kakuzu's penchant for collecting hearts, so lack of those, combined with his good looks, allowed him a more interesting social life.

But it wasn't leaving behind _those_ women that was the problem. They were meaningless, insignificant, a dime a dozen wherever their was a village; women who threw themselves at good-looking powerful men. Even the most horrendous Akatsuki member could find women willing to show them a good time, good looks or people skills or not. And if there weren't, well they weren't nuke-nin for nothing; none of them were opposed to force when necessary, though Deidara and Itachi could usually avoid it. They were men. Who lived with only other men. They had needs. And sometimes the women weren't willing and that was just too bad.

It was those of them with girls who cared about them. Leaving your home was one thing. Leaving your heart was another.

Deidara sighed, shaking his head at his partner and leaving him eating dust.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Mm… Dei…"_

_Deidara smiled slowly against the lips pressed against his, running one hand through long brunette hair. "Ayane," he said, kissing her once more, before pulling back just enough to rest his forehead against hers._

"_Dei," she said again, causing him to open his eyes and stare straight into her hazel eyes. He made a questioning noise low in his throat. "I heard a rumor today, that some men came and talked to you… I heard you were leaving with them."_

_He pulled away from her. "Ayane-"_

"_You are, aren't you?" She unwound her arms from around hi neck and wrapped them around herself. "I thought you were happy here," she said softly._

"_Ayane, you have to understand, un." He hated hurting her, but he had to, he _had_ to. "I want to prove myself, un. I want to be strong enough to defeat Itachi-san, un. But I can't do those things here, un."_

_For a moment she did nothing. Then the smallest of smiles graced her lips and she mumbled, "Never should have fallen for a shinobi."_

_And Deidara wrapped his arms around her, placed his head on top of hers, and laughed._

_END FLASHBACK_

He snorted. He doubted he'd ever see her again. He knew this organization would be dangerous, but this was just ridiculous. Jinchuriki and nuke-nin and sannin, oh my. It was enough to make someone want to be a hermit. But he still couldn't beat Itachi, not yet. And he still had to help Tobi find _his_ Jinchuriki, whatever one it was.

And he doubted that, once this was over, even if he _did_ survive, he doubted (actually, he was fairly certain) there was absolutely no way Pain-sama would allow him to leave in one piece. He knew too much about the other members. Although, Orochimaru had left, and _he_ was still alive. Probably.

Didn't matter though. Apparently one of the criteria for joining Akatsuki, other than being remarkably strong and slightly unhinged (hey, Deidara _blew things up_ for a _hobby_) was that you had to leave behind whatever you cared about.

Itachi, for all his testing of skills and murderous intent, had cared for his family. The only way he'd been able to explain to Pain-sama why Sasuke was still alive was some bullshit about a strong opponent to fight. Kisame had left behind all the other swordsmen of Mist. True, Zabuza and Raiga had gone off the deep end like Kisame, but one didn't train with the same people for so long and not feel some sort of comraderie. Even Deidara's old partner had left behind his grandmother.

He vaguely wondered if any of the others had girls like he did. Then he immediately scoffed and realized that, no, they probably hadn't. Shame, that none could understand this different kind of pain.

And a shame, too, that he'd promised Ayane he'd come back to her, when he probably never could. He'd never forget her, but he'd also never see her again. Too bad…

"Senpai! Tobi's been a good boy!"

He sighed, rolling his eyes towards the Heavens. _Can't believe I left her for this, un…_ Another sigh. Power before heart. Life before love. Present before past. All models that Akatsuki lived by. All models that Deidara lived by.

But he'd always remember…

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah, so, I don't know, in a lot of myths and stories and things everyone always somehow manages to leave behind someone they care about. I don't think the _Naruto_ universe would be any different. Deidara's a good-looking guy. I refuse to believe he didn't leave anyone behind. And I refuse to believe he'd be allowed to return to his village after spending so much time with Akatsuki. Crazy, power-hungry organizations are like that. 


End file.
